coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So much Jack, so little girl.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
