Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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