Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
