Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
a search helicopter?!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
