Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
