I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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