Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am one with the molecules
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
