There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
