Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Are we still banned from the library?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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