Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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