I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.