Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
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Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If its not for food we ain't going out.