Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.