first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sext me about skeletons
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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