dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
