Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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