It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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