Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Mom said you looked used
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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