where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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