when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
