whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
