Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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