So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
