I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
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I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
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Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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