I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
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When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
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I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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