ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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