I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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