The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
