I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
