dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
