doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
