I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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