you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
