I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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