just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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