Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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