the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize