I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
