I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
