Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
