Midget sex pt 2 tonight
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
where are you?
Hypothermia
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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