how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
