No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
