That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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