Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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