I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
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Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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