It was confusing and full of hummus
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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