All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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