I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
is that a dick in a sweater?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
