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Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
