youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
