If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
