Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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