What a fucking waste of an outfit
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
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Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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