So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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