so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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