everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
