I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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