well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
