I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
