You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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