Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
