I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
