i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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